The sequel to The Visitors reunites us with those lovable ruffians from the French Medieval ages who – through magic – are transported into the present, with often drastic consequences. Godefroy de Montmirail travels to today to recover the missing family jewels and a sacred relic, guarantor of his wife-to-be’s fertility. The confrontation between Godefroy’s repellent servant Jack the Crack and his descendent, the effete Jacquart, present-day owner of the chateau, further complicates the matter.
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Samir, a lanky crane operator in Montreuil, falls madly for Agathe. As master swimmer at the pool Thorez he decides to take swimming lessons with her. But the lie does not last three lessons – Agathe hate liars. Chosen to represent the Seine-Saint-Denis, Agathe flies to Iceland for the 10th Congress of the International Masters Swimming. Samir has no choice but to fly in turn also.
Deloris Van Cartier is again asked to don the nun’s habit to help a run-down Catholic school, presided over by Mother Superior. And if trying to reach out to a class full of uninterested students wasn’t bad enough, the sisters discover that the school is due to be closed by the unscrupulous local authority chief Mr. Crisp.
The career of a disillusioned producer, who is desperate for a hit, is endangered when his star walks off the film set. Forced to think fast, the producer decides to digitally create an actress “Simone” to sub for the star — the first totally believable synthetic actress.
John Gregory, who is a seventh son of a seventh son and also the local spook, has protected the country from witches, boggarts, ghouls and all manner of things that go bump in the night. However John is not young anymore, and has been seeking an apprentice to carry on his trade. Most have failed to survive. The last hope is a young farmer’s son named Thomas Ward. Will he survive the training to become the spook that so many others couldn’t?
Clear the runway for Derek Zoolander, VH1’s three-time male model of the year. His face falls when hippie-chic “he’s so hot right now” Hansel scooters in to steal this year’s award. The evil fashion guru Mugatu seizes the opportunity to turn Derek into a killing machine. Its a well-designed conspiracy and only with the help of Hansel and a few well-chosen accessories can Derek make the world safe.
In England, the times are a changing: it’s mods and rockers. On the day Nancy gets off the London train, cases in hand, looking for the YWCA, Colin has had enough of missing out on the sexual revolution. He begs his smooth (and misogynistic) pal Tolen to teach him ‘the knack’ – how to score with women. Serendipitously, Colin and his new lodger Tom meet up with Nancy while Colin’s buying a bed larger than Tolen’s. The three hit it off, but their simple fun ends when Tolen meets Nancy. Colin is jealous but impotent, and Tolen both attracts and repels her. She swoons, wonders what happened, and cries ‘rape.’ Impish serendipity rubs against unsettling ambiguity.
A man in a high stakes celebrity death pool quickly loses everything – his business, his bank account, his home, his fiancé. He snaps, then realizes the only way to get his life back on track. He’ll have to murder his own celebrity. He’ll have to kill Hasselhoff.